Approaching my 65th birthday has led me down the path of reflection. As I sift through quotes that have held meaning for me over the years, I'm struck by how each fresh examination peels back another layer, revealing deeper insights.
One such quote by Carl Jung has been particularly resonant:
“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.”
It's a truth bomb, no doubt, but one that's incredibly challenging to live out, if I'm honest.
Since my college years as a young social work major, I've been a student of Carl Jung. His keen eye for truth, especially regarding understanding people’s psyches, has left a lasting impact on me.
Jung was deeply interested in where each person’s source of inspiration originated - from within or from external sources. He proposed that those who seek inspiration within themselves awaken to their truest potential, while those who seek it externally often look to the outside world for validation.
Forming a healthy ego is a vital part of the first half of life's journey. It involves differentiating ourselves from others, exploring our unique talents, values, beliefs, and strengths and weaknesses. Setting healthy boundaries and balancing our needs with those of our loved ones becomes crucial during this phase of life.
The goal is to construct an ego that is strong yet flexible — one that allows us to engage confidently with the world while remaining open to growth and transformation. Hopefully, as we mature we come to realize seeking validation from external sources is a futile pursuit. Realizing this I think we can begin the inward journey of the second half of life. For me, it means becoming comfortable in my own skin.
Richard Rohr's "Falling Upward" beautifully captures the essence of this second half of life journey. He writes, "The first half of life is discovering the script, and the second half is actually writing it and owning it.”
Reaching this juncture can be where the real magic happens. I dare say that one of the gifts of menopause is precisely that — a pause. It's a time when wisdom begins to surface, and we find ourselves faced with hard questions: How do I want to live out the second half of my life? Am I ready to let go of what no longer serves me?
It’s what I refer to as the ego dance.
It's worth the hard work of leaning in and becoming comfortable in our own skin. Frankly, we owe it to the women who will stand on our shoulders to be healthy and fully alive. Would you like to join me?